16 Comments
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Sophia Wronsky's avatar

"And not to mention, many of these men are not suave, charming lotharios but rather, men in hoodies who are frustrated by society’s demands to shower regularly and make small talk."

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Russellino's avatar

I love your analytics and write-ups. Strictly by the numbers I don't dispute anything you said. However from a straight dude's pov, it's not all gloom. Moving to the Bay Area from Dallas was the best thing I could've done at age 32. The surprise for me was the broader cultural shift from Dallas which made everyone generally more interesting and compatible with my interests. Also I learned not all women in the Bay Area want to date nerdy, tech bros obsessed with stock options. Those two things made life quite enjoyable for me while I lived there.

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Lana Li's avatar

Yes, that is consistent with the data that there are actually women there to date! I’ve talked to other men who dated in SF and had similar experiences (that women appreciated them not hewing to the stereotype). If you are more open minded, it def would be an overall upgrade from Texas.

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P. Morse's avatar

That quote is about Alaska, where men are multiples of women. Reversed for San Miguel de Allende.

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BrainRotfront!'s avatar

I do not understand why every Bay Area-person seems to treat San Jose to San Francisco as some unfathomable distance. It's like 40 miles, lol. There's absolutely nothing that stops a woman from SF from dating exclusively guys from SJ.

Absolute unique Bay Area thing to treat relatively minor distances as insurmountable. I've never seen it anywhere else in the United States.

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Lana Li's avatar

Manhattan woman are loathe to date those in NJ! I mean, some do, many will not.

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BrainRotfront!'s avatar

Yes, but New York City is a real city while New Jersey a distant suburb, while all of the Bay Area is a glorified suburb sprawl. This is someone from Fort Lee refusing to date Hackensack.

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Augustin's avatar

Was a lack of showering why you found them "unimpressive?"

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Lana Li's avatar

No, it was more appearance and general charm.

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Augustin's avatar

Appearance? Line what? What did you expect?

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Lana Li's avatar

Men in SF, on average, are not as attractive as men in NYC. This was echoed by other women online who have dated in both cities.

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Frederick A. Haddad's avatar

Physical attractiveness? Height, weight, muscled, etc? You only wish to meet super attractive men?

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Lana Li's avatar

This article isn’t really about my personal preferences. I mostly care about facial beauty though!

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Augustin's avatar

What is the difference?

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Lana Li's avatar

I don’t have an incredibly specific answer - just that there are men who are super attractive in NY (handsome faces, built, well dressed, etc) and plenty who are more run of the mill handsome. I just noticed the concentration wasn’t as high in SF. Obviously super good looking men exist in both, just higher concentration in NY.

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Start With Me's avatar

That's because there is a massive difference in standards from the East Coast to the West Coast.

Being an East Coast Man on the West Coast pushing a Dating app that prioritizes self-work, self-understanding, and now going full bore on the in-person aspect of this app, it has never been clearer the mentality of Men in California, at least in the big city locations, have been raised completely different then men else where.

It's no fault of theirs, I think it has a bit more to do with what people see as a definition of "Man".

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