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That Guiltiest of Pleasures's avatar

Speaking as someone who has often dated slightly older women, a big part of the appeal is the increased confidence of older women, and actually being willing to message first demonstrates that confidence.

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Bo's avatar

How much of this do you think is related to men in their 20’s having a harder time dating within their immediate cohort?

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Lana Li's avatar

I'm not sure! It was notable to me that the effect seemed to persist throughout life - at no point were slightly older men more likely to respond than slightly younger men. I imagine that a 27 year old man may not necessarily think to reach out to a woman in her early 30's proactively but is certainly open to dating her if she were to initiate contact. I think it's likely that for this age group, men (often correctly) surmise that older women aren't interested, but would be open to dating if the woman reaches out.

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Bo's avatar

Interesting, thanks!

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yanik's avatar

The matrix hot spot visual is pretty cool!

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Lana Li's avatar

Thank you!

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Scott Spitze's avatar

I wonder if part of this is related to when women chose to reach out to slightly younger men. Because of age norms, women might only reach out when they have higher expectations that the man will respond. Still, definitely agree that this is evidence that women should be less picky about small age gaps (or at least less worried that men will be picky about small age gaps).

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Lana Li's avatar

Yeah not clear how that would be measured! I feel more inspired to send first messages based on this data although it is a useful filter as well to wait to see what men decide to message at all.

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