I have not closely researched this although I’m familiar with some of the common origin stories (Okcupid, bumble mainly). Generally my impression is that the people that start dating apps are business people. They’re not like the kinds of people that start a cookie brand or a fashion brand or something. It seems like it’s more mercenary. Is there anything in particular you’re curious about?
Bumble, Tinder, Grindr, Hinge, look for founders, check their early life section, see if you notice any pattern, do the same for p*rn companies too. It’s all related.
Call me old fashioned, but I'm pretty sure that purposely turning yourself into Charlie Chaplin in this scene from Modern Times and drafting up spreadsheets and charts along the way isn't a great way to find love:
Yeah, I'm **SURE** a lot of people would really enjoy your very unique take. And I'm telling you, SO few women speak on this so objectively and with your analytical approach, so just KNOW that you'll already be a stand out voice in the space and I guarantee you they'll comment on it (in praise) regularly.
Plus dating is one of the most evergreen topics there is!!
And if I had to guess, I'd say you're no stranger to hard work, so that effort would undoubtedly show (and be appreciated) throughout your videos.
Oh and have you tried out NotebookLM? I haven't used it extensively myself, but I feel like it could be beneficial to you at some point in the future. It's best at/tailored to analyzing and processing the data/documents you upload to it. So very similar to how you utilized ChatGPT here. Just wanted to mention it if you hadn't given it a try.
"Dating is hard for everyone, even someone with an above average match rate who makes a good faith attempt to engage with a large portion of matches."
But objectively speaking, dating would still be significantly more difficult for men, followed by average women.
Just like how getting into Harvard may be hard for the average applicant, but it would be obscenely difficult for someone from a developing nation living off a couple dollars a day.
There's a massive degree of variation between dating just being "hard" (especially across men and women respectively).
Everyone in the world would agree that they would rather have options vs not having any options. And your sankey graph already shows just how important having options actually is (because those without options are even MORE likely to share your current fate i.e be single).
And simply by being a woman, you will ALWAYS have substantially more options. Never mind the fact that you in particular were rated above average.
With those options comes the VERY REAL possibility of finding a suitable partner (i.e the end goal) but on top of that is the often/always overlooked factor which is the effect it plays on one's self esteem.
Someone is 1000% more likely to get demoralized by not having any options in life vs the person who has options.
That person actually experiences highs, and mids. They actually get the opportunity to experience dating, to learn and grow, to feel like they are making progress (even if the end result hasn't yet been reached).
Where as someone without options/monumentally fewer, primarily experiences only lows. Something that's devastating to the human psyche and will to continue onwards.
I don’t doubt that at all! I am not invalidating that experience. I just think it is nonobvious how difficult things are even with many options, which is the only thing I’m claiming. I also think for someone with more options, there is more of a tendency to keep trying rather than to accept nonideal outcomes. There is likely some of that in play for me - but I also am not interested in dating purely for the sake of saying I found someone willing to marry me, and someone having a job/not beating me are basically the bare minimum. 😂
Gotcha, I was largely offering perspective (a side by side point of view) for readers. **Although I certainly could have added a sentence to make that more clear.**
As I said I appreciated your objective stance, and for the record it wasn’t like you wrote in an invalidating way at all.
That sentence just really stuck out to me, and it made me think of JUST how wide the disparity is (as it relates to the difficulties men and women face in dating).
Of course I (and anyone else) can understand how it's been difficult for you (plus you laid it out so clearly for us all to see). And I'm not discrediting that (your experience) at all.
Just adding that perspective of how the gender dynamics play out.
And it's funny because while reading I was hoping you would eventually have a sankey graph showing how things played out (as it's the best graph for that) and of course you ended up having one so that was perfect.
Absolutely, some people don't want to leave a stone unturned, they think the grass might be greener on the other side, they will be less likely to try and work things out because they can always move on to someone else, and in the back of there mind they always wonder if they can do better/if someone else will come along and sweep them off their feet (which takes their focus away from their current relationship and can very well cause them to sabotage it in subconscious ways).
Analysis paralysis is the cost of having a buffet of choices. But at least those people have the comfort of knowing they will never go hungry 😁 (unless by choice, which of course is their prerogative).
Of course never that lol, nobody wants you ending up a statistic (i.e the divorce rate).
God rest his soul to the man that lays his hands on you 🫡. You'll be over there mentally filing away every single transgression made, meticulously crafting together mounds and mounds of evidence stacked ceiling high for the officers to comb through. To the point where his great grandchildren will be handed life sentences before they can even snap the placenta off the little guys.
I really adore online dating data, well done.
Thank you!
Genuinely so excited to be at the objective analysis phase of online dating — grabs popcorn.
Welcome!!
Have you researched into who started/founded dating apps? Any common denominator?
I have not closely researched this although I’m familiar with some of the common origin stories (Okcupid, bumble mainly). Generally my impression is that the people that start dating apps are business people. They’re not like the kinds of people that start a cookie brand or a fashion brand or something. It seems like it’s more mercenary. Is there anything in particular you’re curious about?
Bumble, Tinder, Grindr, Hinge, look for founders, check their early life section, see if you notice any pattern, do the same for p*rn companies too. It’s all related.
Call me old fashioned, but I'm pretty sure that purposely turning yourself into Charlie Chaplin in this scene from Modern Times and drafting up spreadsheets and charts along the way isn't a great way to find love:
https://youtu.be/ZdvEGPt4s0Y?si=U-5OnvIkaSc9Q79a
It's REALLY nice to see such an analytical woman, coupled with the fact that you're covering this topic from such an objective and data driven view.
I love the line graph for matches & likes.
When I saw it my first thought was:
Just like life, the more you give the more you get.
"Here it is as a depressing sankey graph" 😄
This would EASILY make for a unique (set of) YouTube video(s) if you ever felt the desire. A popular topic and from an incredibly rare point of view.
All the graphs make for a really engaging read by the way.
Thanks for taking the time to make this.
Thank you so much! Good idea on YouTube videos. If things start taking off more, I will def consider it!
Yeah, I'm **SURE** a lot of people would really enjoy your very unique take. And I'm telling you, SO few women speak on this so objectively and with your analytical approach, so just KNOW that you'll already be a stand out voice in the space and I guarantee you they'll comment on it (in praise) regularly.
Plus dating is one of the most evergreen topics there is!!
And if I had to guess, I'd say you're no stranger to hard work, so that effort would undoubtedly show (and be appreciated) throughout your videos.
Oh and have you tried out NotebookLM? I haven't used it extensively myself, but I feel like it could be beneficial to you at some point in the future. It's best at/tailored to analyzing and processing the data/documents you upload to it. So very similar to how you utilized ChatGPT here. Just wanted to mention it if you hadn't given it a try.
"Dating is hard for everyone, even someone with an above average match rate who makes a good faith attempt to engage with a large portion of matches."
But objectively speaking, dating would still be significantly more difficult for men, followed by average women.
Just like how getting into Harvard may be hard for the average applicant, but it would be obscenely difficult for someone from a developing nation living off a couple dollars a day.
There's a massive degree of variation between dating just being "hard" (especially across men and women respectively).
Everyone in the world would agree that they would rather have options vs not having any options. And your sankey graph already shows just how important having options actually is (because those without options are even MORE likely to share your current fate i.e be single).
And simply by being a woman, you will ALWAYS have substantially more options. Never mind the fact that you in particular were rated above average.
With those options comes the VERY REAL possibility of finding a suitable partner (i.e the end goal) but on top of that is the often/always overlooked factor which is the effect it plays on one's self esteem.
Someone is 1000% more likely to get demoralized by not having any options in life vs the person who has options.
That person actually experiences highs, and mids. They actually get the opportunity to experience dating, to learn and grow, to feel like they are making progress (even if the end result hasn't yet been reached).
Where as someone without options/monumentally fewer, primarily experiences only lows. Something that's devastating to the human psyche and will to continue onwards.
I don’t doubt that at all! I am not invalidating that experience. I just think it is nonobvious how difficult things are even with many options, which is the only thing I’m claiming. I also think for someone with more options, there is more of a tendency to keep trying rather than to accept nonideal outcomes. There is likely some of that in play for me - but I also am not interested in dating purely for the sake of saying I found someone willing to marry me, and someone having a job/not beating me are basically the bare minimum. 😂
Gotcha, I was largely offering perspective (a side by side point of view) for readers. **Although I certainly could have added a sentence to make that more clear.**
As I said I appreciated your objective stance, and for the record it wasn’t like you wrote in an invalidating way at all.
That sentence just really stuck out to me, and it made me think of JUST how wide the disparity is (as it relates to the difficulties men and women face in dating).
Of course I (and anyone else) can understand how it's been difficult for you (plus you laid it out so clearly for us all to see). And I'm not discrediting that (your experience) at all.
Just adding that perspective of how the gender dynamics play out.
And it's funny because while reading I was hoping you would eventually have a sankey graph showing how things played out (as it's the best graph for that) and of course you ended up having one so that was perfect.
Absolutely, some people don't want to leave a stone unturned, they think the grass might be greener on the other side, they will be less likely to try and work things out because they can always move on to someone else, and in the back of there mind they always wonder if they can do better/if someone else will come along and sweep them off their feet (which takes their focus away from their current relationship and can very well cause them to sabotage it in subconscious ways).
Analysis paralysis is the cost of having a buffet of choices. But at least those people have the comfort of knowing they will never go hungry 😁 (unless by choice, which of course is their prerogative).
Of course never that lol, nobody wants you ending up a statistic (i.e the divorce rate).
God rest his soul to the man that lays his hands on you 🫡. You'll be over there mentally filing away every single transgression made, meticulously crafting together mounds and mounds of evidence stacked ceiling high for the officers to comb through. To the point where his great grandchildren will be handed life sentences before they can even snap the placenta off the little guys.